Tuesday, October 18, 2011

It's safer here

We often complain about our "bad luck" when, in reality, it's not luck at all, but the result of a bad decision.  Calling it bad luck let's us place blame on the universe (or God, if you will).  Calling it the result of a bad decision makes it our responsibility.

I'm not saying that we should beat ourselves up over every bad decision that we've made.  I would be more battered than one of Mike Tyson's 1987 opponents if I did that.  Instead, what I'm suggesting is that we take responsibility for our actions; that we don't blame God or man, but we admit that our decisions have led to some not-so-perfect circumstances.

There are two reasons for this suggestion:

  1. When we start displacing blaming for things that are ultimately our fault, we begin to foster an entitlement mentality (an entire topic in itself).  An entitled person wants something for nothing and every result, regardless of the actual cause, is chalked up to bad luck or God or someone else.  When this happens, we begin to think that our actions don't affect our lives.  And that's a very dangerous place to me.
  2. We can't learn if we won't humble ourselves enough to admit that we made a mistake.  We mess up, we humble ourselves, we ask for forgiveness and we work to figure out how our actions led to the initial mistake so we don't repeat it.  It's how we grow to be better, healthier people.
Please don't beat yourself up over your mistakes.  Too many people do.

Please don't blame everyone else for your circumstances.  Too many people do.

Work to find that middle ground.  It's safer there.  And one day, I hope we can say, "Join me.  It's safer here."