Thursday, November 3, 2011

Forget about the "No"

"Can I skip my homework tonight?"

"Can I go outside and play before I do my homework?"

Here's the thing with "Can I" questions.  The answer is most often "Yes."  The real issue is not the yes or no; it's the consequence of "yes."

You can skip your homework, but you may be grounded if your grades are not up to par.  You can go outside before you do your homework, but you'll be doing homework later when we're having family time.

As adults, we often take it one step further and assume the answer is "No" without ever asking the question.  "I hate my job, but I can't change careers now.  I'm too old."

Instead, ask the "Can I" questions and forget about the "No."  Assume the answer to the "Can I" is yes and then ask yourself, "What are the consequences of 'Yes'?"

Don't hold yourself back.  There are ALWAYS options.