How to make a bow and arrow

The other day, my son was playing with the simplistic bow and arrow that I made him this spring.  The simple design of a single stick and piece of twine led to hours of entertainment and imagination.

After an evening of fierce battle, he and I (somehow) began talking about Native Americans and their use of the bow and arrow as a weapon.  I told him that the Native Americans were able to kill a buffalo with a bow that they made by hand.  He promply asked, "How in the world did they do that?"

Exactly.  How were they able to take sticks, string and rocks and make a bow and arrow capable of killing a 1,500 pound animal?  Because they had to.  Their lives depended on it.  They were required by their situation to be innovative.

What are we capable of if we're pushed to our limits... or if we choose to push ourselves to those limits?  Could we cure the global water problem or stop human trafficking?  Maybe.

I often think that I'm just mediocre at this whole life thing.  And maybe I am.  But, if I am, it's because I'm choosing to be.  I'm not pushing myself to be innovative, to force change, to think differently and to make a difference.  I'm choosing to be mediocre.

We shouldn't settle for mediocre.  We should push ourselves and the people we truly care about to be the best.  Not just for us, but for everyone around us.

We only get one chance at this life thing, so don't wait for the buffalo to walk up to you and fall over.  Force change.  Take what you've got and make your bow and arrow.

This is what they really want...

So last night, after a rough morning at the gym and a long day of sitting at a computer, I decided to bribe my children.  "I will give you anything you want if you rub my legs."

Now, that may sound like a pretty big promise to make to a 6-year-old and (nearly) 9-year-old, but I was tired, aching, and quite frankly, not thinking straight.

I try my best to keep my promises and the immediate panic set in as I realized that I may have to explain that a new pony doesn't fit well into a city setting, that we are not able to have Spongebob Squarepants over for dinner, and that it's not good parenting to allow a 9-year-old boy to quit school.

So, what did they ask for?

The 6-year-old went first.  This little girl is the most polite, compassionate, caring individual that I've ever met, so it's always interesting to listen to what she has to say.  She looked me straight in the face with the most beautiful smile and said...

"If I give you a massage, will you play with my stuffed animals with me tonight?"

Of course I will!  Whew... one down, one to go.  Next, my 9-year-old looks at me with that sly little grin.  I can see the wheels turning and I have one thought: I'm in BIG trouble.  And then he said it...

"Will you sit down and watch an episode of my favorite TV show with me tonight?"

Success!  Two-for-two and there's no pony-purchasing in sight.  And then I thought, I just promised them anything in this world.  Anything!  And they chose... time.  All they wanted was one-on-one time.  They didn't want stuff; they wanted time.

What a great lesson for us.  The people that care about us, kids and adults alike, don't want things from us.  They don't want money from us.  They don't want new and bigger toys or the latest fashions.  What they really want is time.  The hard question is, do you care enough to give them what they really want?

Just listen!

It's tough.  It's really tough.

... when someone you know is hurting and you would do anything to take their pain away... but you can't.

When someone I care about is hurting, I (too) often make the mistake of giving advice.  I'm an engineer.  A problem solver.  But there's one problem.  People that are feeling emotional pain do not generally want answers.  They want to know that you care.  And giving advice, even well-intentioned advice, isn't convincing.

When I've been the one hurting, I know what works for me.  To have someone listen.  Truly listen.  In this world, with all of the appointments, deadlines, text messages, phone calls, etc., for someone to put the entire universe on hold to listen to exactly what you have to say speaks volumes.

Believe me, no words that you speak will convey your love more than deliberate listening.

So, if someone you know is hurting, stop thinking about solving the problem and just listen. 

What's your revolution?

We have two options when it comes to changing something: gradual change or revolution.

I agree that there's a time and place for both, but I also think that we more often than not choose gradual change because it's easier.  Revolution takes courage.  Revolution takes commitment.  Revolution takes vulnerability.  But sometimes, revolution is the only option for real change.

You may think that this topic doesn't pertain to you, but revolutionary change doesn't have to change the world.  Maybe your revolution is bettering your family relationships, making a bold statement about a new product at work or breaking bad habits.

Revolution is simply a drastic change to the status quo.

And, if we think hard enough, I'm sure we could all find some things in our life that need revolutionary change.  I sure have some areas of my life that could use a revolution.

So, what's your revolution?

It just might rain...

... but why sit around and wait for it?

So many times we put off doing outside work or (more importantly) playing outside because it "looks like it's going to rain."  The same is true in relationships, business, family, etc.

Don't sit around waiting for it to rain.  If it's not raining, don't assume that it's going to.

If it is raining, enjoy it!  It's refreshing.  It brings life.  It builds character.  And, it helps us appreciate the sun when it shines again (because it WILL shine again).

Are you worth dying for?

Waking up on a clear, crisp, Sunday morning is one of my favorite things in the entire world.  I sit in the comfort of my house with family so near and I wonder...

The women and men who are thousands of miles from home, in a hostile environment, risking their lives so that I can sit comfortably in my home... what do they think of me?

I know, they are fighting for our country.  The ideal that is the United States of America.  But our country is only a beautiful concept without its people.  So ultimately, they are fighting for me... and you.

Why am I worth it?  What do I provide to this world?  This country?  This community?  My home?  What makes me worth dying for?

It's easy to get caught up worrying about our own day-to-day problems, enjoyments, comforts, etc.  But, like it or not, we're all part of something bigger.  When you think of those that have given their life for you... make them proud.  Do something worth dying for!

Where should I look first?

I recently had the opportunity to hear an amazing woman by the name of Michelle Rhee speak.  She fought an impressive battle to revamp a dreadful Washington, D.C. school district... an incredibly monumental task.

She said something those few weeks ago that has resonated in my head.  The words were:

"I look for encouragement everywhere."

This statement, I believe, is more profound than it looks on the surface.  You should first understand that Ms. Rhee was (and still is) the target of brutal criticism by people all over the country for her unapologetic stance on putting students first... even if it meant firing a lot of teachers.  Through all of this, Michelle stayed optimistic and kept her focus.

But how do you drown out all of those voices of criticism?  How do you ignore the masses that are telling you that you're wrong when you know that you're right?  I think Michelle is on to something.

We often sit back and listen to criticism that seems to flow like a river toward us when we're trying to make a difference.  Encouraging voices are typically quieter and more difficult to hear.  The solution: We need to LOOK for encouragement.  If we sit back and wait for it to come to us, we may never hear it through the criticism.  However, if we get out there and actively seek encouragement we'll be sure to find those quiet voices that are waiting to build us up.  Those voices that speak truth.  Those voices that tell us to keep going.  Those voices that confirm our ideas and intentions.

If you're facing criticism, don't sit back and wait for encouragement to fall into your lap.  Use Michelle Rhee's philosophy... get out there and look for it!

So, where are you going to look first?

How smart are you?

I hear people say quite often, "he's so smart" or "she's so smart."  And I wonder, what does "smart" mean?

Often "smart" means that someone was willing to put in tireless hours working through minute details to learn something that no one else cared to learn.  Other times it means that someone knows something (even just a little bit) about a subject that seems very foreign, and therefore difficult, to us.

So, in what areas are you "smart"?  We all (yes, all!) have things that we're good at, but we tend to devalue those things unless they are in a field that our society deems worthy.  We also lose track of the things we're good at because they come naturally to us and we forget that not everyone can do them as well as we can.

Take me, for instance... I have mad math skills (I'm just saying...), but I can't cook to save my life.  I can't paint.  I'm not that good at mowing the lawn and I'm horrible at organization.  So, does being able to do math problems make me smarter than the stay-at-home-mom that cooks, cleans, organizes and schedules for an entire family?

No.  We're all smart in different areas.  The key is to take a realistic look at what you're good at without devaluing it.  Once we realize the true potential of our strengths, we can use them most effectively.

What are you good at?  What comes easily to you?

Here's the bottom line... I'll help your kids with their math homework if you organize my office!

How to fold a map

Seriously?  No one knows how to fold a map, so let's move on to better things...

Have you ever thought of mapping out every foot step that you take in a day?  Tracking everywhere you go?  When I think about it, it makes me realize just how inefficient and unplanned my day is.  Sure, I plan, but I seem to plan on too small of a scale.  My plan doesn't often represent the most efficient way to travel throughout my day.

And, if I planned with my entire week in mind, I could make each of my days very efficient.  But, what would happen if I had a map laid out for my long-term goals?

In other words, how efficient could I be if I really took the time to map out my life?

Where are you going?  And, do you have a map to get there?  Draw a picture... draw your map to where you want to go.

Need a reason to celebrate?

We have a birthday to celebrate in our house today.  It made me think... why do we celebrate birthdays?

I personally think it's because we're celebrating the miracle of life and the fact that God allowed that person to be part of our lives for another year.

So, why do we wait an entire year to celebrate the life of someone we love?  And maybe more importantly, why do we so often celebrate with tangible gifts and not the true emotion behind the celebration?

During our busy days, we (at least, I) sometimes forget how fortunate we are to have people in our lives.  Celebrate someone's life today.  It may be a gift.  It may be total transparency in telling them how much you care.  However you choose, celebrate a life today.