The Tim Tebow Paradox

There's a paradox surrounding Tebow and professional sports right now.  I think it's the same paradox that many of us face in our daily lives.

You see, sports journalists have been complaining for some time now that we need some "good guys" in sports.  They are tired of the sport getting a bad name because of a few trouble-makers.  They complain that the media gives all of the attention to the bad guys and ignores the good guys.

Enter Tim Tebow.  He's not perfect.  None of us are.  But he's humble.  He works hard.  He gives credit where credit is due.  He's a sportsman when he wins and when he loses.  He casts positivity when he speaks.  He doesn't make excuses.  Sounds like the perfect guy for the media to focus on.  And they are.  So the sports journalists are all happy.  Have a nice day!

Unfortunately, Tebow is living the paradox that many of us create in our own lives.  We want something.  We get it.  Then we decide that we want more.  When the first iPhone came out, it was wonderful.  Better than expected.  Now, after the latest iPhone was released, no one wants the original because it's just not good enough.

I'll be blunt (because I'm again guilty).  That constant desire to need more and better things (toys, relationships, etc.) is a reflection of where we are internally.  Those journalists that criticize the same man that they wished for a year ago are missing something.

What I find ironic is that the very thing they are missing is the exact thing that they criticize Tim Tebow for having.

3 reasons to tell the truth

1. It builds character.  Candor takes courage, but each of us is better in the long run when we speak and hear the truth.
2. It simplifies life.  It may be hard in the moment, but it ultimately makes life more simple for everyone.
3. Honesty is contagious.  It sets a good example, not just for your kids (which is important enough), but for everyone around you.  While the truth will cause some people to distance themselves from you, generally people are relieved by truth and transparency.

When you assume...

I think you probably know how the rest of the saying goes.

We all make assumptions throughout our day.  We assume that our brakes are going to work when we press the pedal.  We assume that the red light is eventually going to change to green.  We assume that our favorite restaurant didn't close over night.

The problem with assumptions is that when we assume, we do more than make a fool out of ourselves; we end up hurting other people.  Often we do this by making an assumption about how our family and friends feel about a given situation, decision or just life in general.  This is a tough one because no one can ever really know what another person is feeling.  We can only know what they show us or tell us.

One thing that seems to work for my family is the idea of an emotional gas tank (or emotional bank account if you prefer).  The basic idea is that each of us knows where we stand in terms of our current emotional, physical and spiritual state, but we often keep that inside and leave our family and friends wondering.  Using the idea of the emotional gas tank, we can use a number to describe how we feel to it makes it easier to share.

There are a few critical rules to follow to make this work:

1. Be honest about your number.  If you aren't going to be honest, you don't care much about making your relationship better and you might as well stop reading now.
2. It's fair to ask your spouse for their number at any time.
3. It's fair game to tell your spouse your number at any time.
4. Never question the other person's number.  They are the only one that knows the truth.
5. Don't be defensive if your spouse's number is low. Instead, see it as an opportunity to grow and do something about it (if you're ever read this book, you'll know exactly what to do!)

I'm sure this method isn't for everyone, but it definitely works for us... or at least I assume it does.

When to use your dinner-party bests

I'm sure most of you held or attended a few get-together's over the holidays.  I did too and there was something that I noticed about myself.  I often save my best attitude, my best clothes and my best manners for special occasions with people that I barely know.  That's a very self-serving approach and I have to admit guilt on this one.

While I may give a good impression in a crowd when I take that approach, I should be saving those "bests" for the people that I truly care about.  The family and friends that put up with my crankiness when I've stayed up too late.  And what about my kids that have to deal with my bad mood because I had a long day at work?

It's not that looking nice and using my manners is a bad thing, but I need to save most of that for my family and friends.  I'm going to try to be more aware of the impression that I'm leaving on those closest to me on a daily basis.  I'll still save the fine china for the dinner parties, but I can use my other dinner-party bests every day.

I'm a wide receiver in the NFL

Actually, I'm not.  But nothing stops me from proclaiming it.  Of course, anyone that knows me will say that I'm off my rocker, but still, I can make any statement that I want about myself.

I think Christians get a bad rap because of this exact scenario.  I can call myself a Christian, but that doesn't really mean that I'm playing for that team.  There are a lot of people out there wearing the Christian jersey and giving the Christian team a bad name.

So, before you go judging the NFL based on my time in the 40 and my ability to catch a pass against a professional DB, make sure I'm really on the team.  I just ask that you do the same when you're judging Christians.

Do you shutdown or reboot?

I'm not talking about your computer.  It's been a long week.  The weekend is coming quickly.  Which one are you going to choose?

Rebooting is nice.  It's listening to some soft rock on the way home and regrouping before you start your weekend.

Shutting down is even better.  Shut everything off this weekend... TV, phones, computers, etc.  Take some time to reconnect to your family, friends and God.

Believe me, turning that iPhone off for a few days is worth ten times more than the hefty price you paid for it.

You may not believe this, but...

You are an artist.

Maybe stick figures are your style of pen-and-ink drawing.  Maybe the only balloon animal that you can make is a snake.  And maybe your idea of finger painting is wiping your greasy fingers on the restaurant place mat.

Okay, so you probably don't have a big career ahead of you in the fine arts, but you are an artist.

Artists create new things.   Artists make things better.   Artists find what they are good at and they do it.   Artists try stuff they like... and ignore the nay-sayers.

So, if you read this and you still think that you're not an artist, what's stopping you?

Who let the pirates out?

I love kids.  They can get up any day of the year and decide they are going to be a pirate.  They'll invent an eye patch, a pirate hat and the most ridiculous pirate accent that you've ever heard.  As parents, we'll say things like, "You can't wear that to school" or "We are not going to the mall until you change."

Those words have nothing to do with the pirate outfit, but they have everything to do with our desire to fit the status quo.  To be like everyone else.  To blend into the crowd.  So much so that we want everyone that is associated with us to blend in also.

At what point did the pirate sneak its way out of us?  When did we start believing that we had to be like everyone else?  At what point did we become so concerned with fitting in that we forgot to be us?  And at what point are you going to pick up that pirate accent again, grab a pirate hat, forget about fitting in and let the pirate back out?  I hope it's today.

Being judgmental is a good thing... isn't it?

The term "judgmental" has gotten a bad rap.  Judging something (or someone) is defined as this:

"to form an opinion about through careful weighing of evidence and testing of premises"

Being judgmental is a good thing.  We should carefully weigh evidence to determine if something is morally and legally acceptable.  I'm allowed to judge you and decide that what you are doing is wrong.  If I know what is right or wrong based on my moral foundation, I can learn from others' mistakes before I make them myself.

However, I need to stop the process before I get to the sentencing stage.  That's really where the danger lies.

There's something you should know about snow

Well, I'm back after a weeklong break and I awoke this morning to a three inch blanket of much appreciated snow.  There's something interesting about snow.  Even just a little of it changes everything.

Three inches of snow changes the entire look of your neighborhood.  Houses have a softer edge to them.  Streets and sidewalks are no longer brash grays and blacks, but a beautifully textured mix of white and charcoal.

Three inches of snow changes your schedule.  You have to get up a little earlier to brush the powder from your car.  You have to allow a little more time for your commute.  You may have to make entirely new plans if school gets cancelled.

Three inches of snow changes your mood.  Snow seems to be one of those polarizing things in life.  People generally love it or hate it.  Regardless of the side of the coin on which you fall, it's very difficult to ignore it altogether.

So, what is it in your life that changes everything when you get just a little of it?   It may be relationships, special time with loved ones, prayer time with God, quiet time, etc.

The events in your life that change the way you see the world are not always obvious, but it's worth taking the time to figure them out.   Knowing your day-changing events will help you determine why your mood changes suddenly or why you're "in a bad mood" before your day even begins.  And more importantly, it will help you figure out how to get out of those ruts that we all get stuck in from time to time.

Think about it today.  Figure out what your day-changing events are.  And if you're in the northeast, enjoy the snow!