Stone Throwing 101

In our world of politics for the sake of politics and joining groups we "believe in" more-so because we want to fit in than because we actually believe, it gets pretty silly sometimes.  We all have disagreements and, quite frankly, the world would be a very boring place if everyone shared the same views.

One thing that I think we often miss (myself included) is that we get overly emotional when those disagreements pop up and we never take the time to ask, "why?"  "What exactly do they believe that makes them disagree with my viewpoint."  "Why is there perspective different than mine?"

By asking these few simple questions, it not only allows us to look at opposing viewpoints a little more objectively, but it also allows us to be sure that we understand our perspective.

In a world of hasty decision making, let's slow down and try to understand why the disagreement exists before we start throwing stones.

Take your time

I am fortunate enough to still have my grandfather around.  This man, who didn't go to school past the 5th grade, is the best engineer that I've ever known.  He's never held the title of "engineer," but that man solves problems.

So what is his method?

Whether we were putting on a new roof or sharpening drill bits in his garage, he seemed to move too slowly (for my taste) from one stage of a task to the next.  As I grew, I began to realize something.  I've never seen him do re-work.  How?

Because he took the time to THINK.  He had the entire problem mapped out in his head long before his calloused hands touched a tool.

In our society of action and reaction, we rarely take the time to stop and think without the distractions of a cell phone, PC, iPod or people.  We need to think outside of life's chaos, possibly in the solitude of an early morning before the rest of the world is awake to whisk us away.

Try it some time.  Find at least 15 minutes that you can have with NO distractions.  It may be at a park or in the stillness of your kitchen at 5:00AM.  Focused thinking about the actions that we need to take relieves stress, makes us more effective and gives us an advantage over the rest of the high-paced non-thinkers of the world.

Let's try to find 15 minutes on our calender this week and take some time to think.  You may realize (like I did) that you're pretty rusty when it comes to focused thinking so keep practicing!

How high should I aim?

"The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short, but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark." -Michelangelo


Why do we aim low?  Because we're afraid of failing.  Because we don't have enough confidence to aim higher.  Because it's easy.


When you aim high, you take a risk.  You may struggle financially.  You may lose a few "friends" because you tried something that they are unwilling to try.  Or... you just may succeed!


You only get one shot at this life thing.  Go for it.  Stop sitting around and waiting for the pieces to fall into place.  Get up and gather the pieces yourself.  It may be risky, but at the end of your journey, the risks you take will be your greatest memories.  And with all of those great memories to fill you up, you won't have room for regret.

Do you believe what you believe?

What do you believe?  Or, in a more grammatically incorrect way, what do you believe in?

We all believe in something.  We believe in God.  We believe in a friend.  We believe in science.  We believe that Steak 'n Shake has the best milkshakes ever.  Whatever it is, we all believe in something.

When is the last time you questioned what you believe?  Not in a cynical, self-centered kind of way, but in a brutally honest, skeptical kind of way.

We need to take a healthy approach to questioning the things we believe in.  We learn by asking questions and seeking out the answers.  So, before we discount someone's belief or blindly create our own beliefs based on someone else's, we need to take the time to question and learn.  That way we can be sure that we believe what we believe.

Don't keep quiet about this

I read this story (http://www.snopes.com/rumors/responders.asp) about the FDNY not being invited to the 9/11 Memorial this year... and, quite frankly I'm disappointed.  It made me think...

Does it feel good to be appreciated?  Of course it does.  Many studies also show that employees would sacrifice higher salaries for a feeling of being appreciated.  Yes, it's that important that we'll sacrifice money to hear someone say that we did well.

So, what stops us from showing appreciation?  We've all been in situations where someone has done something well and we neglect to thank them.  When you have a wonderful meal, do you ask your waiter to let the chef know how much you enjoyed it?  When you order a pizza in the middle of winter, do you truly thank the delivery driver that did exactly what you didn't feel like doing?  I know, I know... those are "services" that we pay for.

What about the person that does the grocery shopping in your house?  Or the one that cleans up the messes?  Or the one that goes to work every day?  Do you sincerely thank those people?

We sometimes forget the value of appreciative words and actions.  Don't be quiet about it.  Take some time to thank someone today. Sincerely tell them how much you appreciate the things that they do, big or small.

Defining failure

"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way." -Mark Twain


You've failed.  Scary, right?  Did you ever stop to ask yourself why you've considered something a failure?  We often neglect to define failure.  We just feel like we failed.


We hear a lot about goal setting, but we don't often hear about failure setting.  Failure is something other than not reaching our goal.  There is a gray area between success and failure that allows us to re-adjust our path and continue forging ahead with new knowledge.


The gray area is where we remain unbroken with the ability to use that new knowledge to create new ideas, solve new problems and have a renewed sense of purpose.


There is more great news about the gray area.  It holds tremendous advantages for those brave enough to enter.  The few that do will learn things that there is no other way of learning.  So grab the cat by the tail and let's get started!

I think your method is outdated

So we have this really annoying intercom at work.  REALLY annoying.  Every few minutes you hear, "Josh Layhue call 123.  Josh Layhue... 123, please."

It's not the message that is annoying, it's the method.  It's also boring and predictable.  The next time you need to get someone's attention, be creative... be unpredictable... and don't be annoying.

If you're running a business, it can seem effective to blast your product to every person you know every time you see them.  And you may find short term results, but ultimately you're going to become that annoying intercom system that everyone despises.  You'll become predictable.

As an alternative, you may try building relationships with people.  One thing history has told us is that relationships continue to work while intercom systems have become outdated.

Stress Relief 101

Do you have a difficult choice to make or an uncomfortable situation to resolve?  Some are more difficult than others, but many of us would answer "yes" to that question.

What's your method for handling these difficulties?

Here is what mine used to be:

1. Ignore the situation for as long as possible until I could no longer stand the consequences of not making a choice
2. Try to resolve an extremely difficult situation in very little time due to procrastination.

Don't use that method.  Stress is killing us and using that method leads to days or even weeks of stress.  Try this one:

1. Write down the one task that you don't want to do today (it is typically the most stressful)
2. Under that, write down the very first action that you need to take to complete that task
3. Complete that action as soon as possible (literally, as soon as you can complete that action, do it)
4. Write down the very next action that you need to take.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 until the task is complete

This method is a huge stress relief because you're focusing on completing the most stressful tasks first.  Get them out of the way quickly and get back to life.

Were you born this way?

Creativity is kind of useful in life, relationships and business.  I would argue that it is critical to successful problem solving, but I hear this a lot:

"I'm not a creative person."

I've heard that line a thousand times (and said it even more).  Then I realized something.  I've never committed myself to being creative.

We tend to think that you're either born creative or you're not.  In reality, if you want to be good at anything, it takes practice (I know.  I'm full of unique insights).  You can be creative if you really want to be.  Maybe the issue is truly that you don't care to be creative and that's perfectly fine.  I want to learn to play the piano, but I don't want to practice.  So I'll just be okay with not knowing how.  However, if you want to be creative, commit to getting better at it.

Most of all, creative thinking takes committed quiet time, which is probably why most of us drop the idea of it pretty quickly.

Here's the point: you can be creative.  You have two questions to ask yourself first:

1. Is this something I really want to learn?
2. Am I willing to make the sacrifice and commitment that it's going to take for me to get better?

Pretty simple, right?

So, are you creative?

Pull over!

I've made the 3.5 hour trip to visit family and friends quite often over the last few years.  Recently I started thinking about what those long trips must have been like before all of the modern conveniences we have along the journey today: gas stations with made to order meals, fast food restaurants galore, and even drive through prayer booths for those REALLY rough trips.

On several of these trips (after long family visits and getting a late start on the road home) one relatively primitive stop was essential. The Rest Area.

Where would we be without a place to rest?

We all need our "rest area" for life, also.  When the days seem too long and too short all at the same time.  When you have more going on than you know what to do with.  When it seems there's just not enough oxygen to go around.  We need to stop in the rest area.

For me, this isn't just a mental place.  We all need that place to go where the world will just have to wait until we get back.  The place where we can focus on the positive things and return to life refreshed, encouraged and energized.

Do you have a rest area?  If not, today would be a good day to look for one.  Pull over and take a break.  You and everyone around you will appreciate it.