Are you missing "it"?

Where are you right this minute?  Me?  I'm sitting in front of my computer writing what you eventually read.

Why am I here right now?

So that I can write this blog.  So that I can share my ideas with the world.  So you have something to do to pass the time while eating lunch.

Maybe.  But maybe all of that is wrong.  Maybe the reason that I think I'm here right now is not the real reason.

We often get caught up in the big picture stuff and we miss the little details of why we are in a certain place at a certain time.  Do your thing.  Keep your schedule.  Plan your activities.  Go to work.  Clean your house.  Write your books.  But don't miss "it."

If you're a mom, don't get so caught up in "taking care" of your kids that you forget to appreciate them.

If you're a business owner, don't get so caught up in "the bottom line" that you forget to listen to your customers' needs (or complaints).

If you're just a (busy) regular Joe like me, don't get so caught up in your day-to-day to-do list that you forget to have coffee with a friend.

Do your thing.  But don't miss "it" along the way.

Denied!

After cutting weight for a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) tournament a few weeks back, I realized something.  Mental endurance is so much harder to achieve than physical endurance.

Much of mental endurance deals with denying yourself.  Denying yourself comfort, or food, or extravagant gifts, or the comforts of home.

However, denying yourself is often needed for causes bigger than ourselves.

Whether it's denying yourself extra Christmas gifts so that you can donate more money to those in true need or denying yourself the comfort of lying in bed for an extra hour so that you can go to the gym, it takes work.  And it takes practice.

Start small.  Find something today that you need to deny yourself for the great good (in our culture, food and money are easy places to start!).  And most of all, don't stop after today.  Keep practicing!

Invisible or invincible?

I'm sure you've all heard this before.  If given the choice, what super power would you choose?  The ability to fly?  Invincibility?  Invisibility?  Being able to breathe underwater?  The power to turn your hearing on and off?  (Mom's are the most likely candidate to vote for this one.)

But, what are your real super powers?  What is it that you can do that no one else can do?

Can you comfort your children better than anyone else?  Are you the only one that your friends can trust to listen without judging?  Are you the one that turns ideas into products?  Or maybe you're the one that makes a home run like a well-oiled machine.

Figure out what your super power is... no excuses!  Saying that you don't have one is taking the easy way out.  And age doesn't disqualify you either; if you don't know your super power, keep looking.  I'm still looking for mine, too.

After you discover it, use your super power to do the things that no one else can do.  Love your family.  Organize projects.  Listen to people and love them.  Whatever it is that you can do like no one else, do it like no one else!

The triage of being a mom

I know.  Who am I to be writing about being a mom?

I consider myself somewhat of an authority on mom's because I get to see, on a daily basis, an absolutely wonderful Mom at work.  I learn from you every day, Cora.  Thank you!

Here's one thing I've learned.  Being a mom is like being a triage nurse (only you don't get a day off).  Your job is to prioritize the thousands of things on your (and your family's) to-do list and make sure it all gets done.  From making food, to waking tired children for school, to tying shoes, to putting Band-Aids on bruises... you, Mom, are the master of triage.

Can I give you one piece of advice?

Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is relax.  Sometimes the demands of your children need to take a back seat to you.  You are important.  And without you, the triage falls apart quickly.  So, don't forget to evaluate your needs in your daily triage.  Take a break.  You deserve it!

Who is thankful for you?

Did you ever ask yourself that question?  If not, try it.  Who are you pouring into?  Who would miss you if you didn't show up today?  Whose day would be different if you disappeared?

The interesting thing is that if we made that list, it would probably be wrong.  We often have no idea who really needs us.  We don't realize how the little things that we do affect people greatly.

You can try to make the list (and I think there's value in that), but more importantly, keep doing the little things. Keep caring.  Keep trying.  Keep smiling.  Keep giving people a reason to miss you.  You have no idea who is thankful for you and the things you do.

Hebrews 12:28-29

I'm not sure what this means

I keep hearing people say, "We should give thanks this week."  Frankly, I'm not sure what "give thanks" even means.  So I looked it up...

give (verb): to make a present of
thanks (noun): kindly or grateful thoughts
[source: http://www.Merriam-Webster.com/]

Okay, I think I get it now (although I'm still not sure how I "make a present of grateful thoughts"). 

This idea seems a little weak and watered down.  Granted, I've posted before about the power of kind words, and there is definite value in them.  But words are easy, and actions are tough.  I challenge you to show gratitude this week.

Showing gratitude causes us to leave our comfort zone and pushes us to do something out of the ordinary to show someone how thankful you are for them.  Spiritually, maybe this means updating your prayer life.  In your relationships, maybe this means an unexpected card to a loved one.  In business, maybe this means calling a customer to thank them rather than to sell to them.

Adapt it for your situation, but show gratitude and don't settle for "making a present of grateful thoughts."

I get to keep driving

I drive past a funeral home every day on my way to work.  This morning, though, something was different.  There were attendants in the parking lot.  There were cars with tiny, orange funeral flags.  There were dozens of black suits and dresses.  There were freshly washed, black cars.  There were tears.

The difference between those people dressed in black and me, was that I got to keep driving.  I didn't have to stop and feel their pain.  I didn't have to answer the tough questions that the children were asking.  I didn't have to hurt.  I could ignore it all and go on with my day.

But for a few rare exceptions, I think that we each do this every day.  We know there are hungry people in the world.  We know there are kids in our neighborhood that need a warmer coat for their long walk to school.  We know we'll see the homeless guy at the on-ramp on our way to the mall... and ignore him.  We get to keep driving.

I encourage you... actually... I'm begging you... do something good for someone this week.  Or better yet, today.

Just so you don't have any excuses, here are some ideas:

• Call the local homeless shelter and see what they are in need of.  Here's the number for one in Erie, PA: Hope House for Families (814-456-8073).  Not in Erie?  Go here: http://www.homelessshelterdirectory.org/ and find a local one.
• Drop off some old coats, gloves, hats, etc. at a Salvation Army location.  Just use Google Maps and type in "Salvation Army."  I'm sure you can find something to give.
• When you see that homeless guy, give him some money.  Or better yet, ask him if he'd like to share a meal with your family.  It's easy to judge people that we know nothing about.
• Go to Stars of Kenya and help Pastor Joshua feed some women and children.

Please stop and help.  Just because we get to keep driving doesn't mean we should.

Forgive and... remember?

I don't really think "forgive and forget" is the healthy approach to a tough situation.

Forgiving and remembering is a better idea.  If we need to forgive someone, they most likely have done something wrong.  If we forget what happened, then we didn't learn from it and we may make the same mistake that they did.

By all means, forgive.  But don't ever forget.

But it's bigger than me

Most meaningful causes are.

When we are passionate about a cause, we may still be overwhelmed because the task ahead seems so large.  Don't let that discourage you.  The bigger the task is, the more potential there is to do something great.

The world tries to tell us that our dreams are too big, that our intentions are ill-stated, that our definition of success is unattainable.  Those things are true if you're looking through a human-sized lens.  I like to dream through a God-sized lens... because He's bigger than me.

I recently met, by "accident," a man that dreams big through a God-sized lens.  His name is Pastor Joshua Atieno and he's doing great things through an organization called Stars of Kenya.  If you will read his blog you will see that his dreams are huge.  And they are coming true every day.  If you are able and feel the desire, help him.

Donations as little as $5.00/month are tremendously helpful.  In our ultra-inflated economy, we sometimes lose site of what $5.00 can do in other places.  Five dollars can't even buy me a meal at McDonald's, but in Kenya it can feed a widow for an entire week!

Create (or find) a cause that's bigger than you.  That's one way you can tell that it's worth investing in.


Stars of Kenya Donation Information:
  $5.00 - feeds a widow for a week
$20.00 - feeds a widow for a month
$25.00 - feeds an orphan for a month
$80.00 - buys a bunk bed, mattresses and sheets (currently in need of 20 bunk beds)

Band-Aids and bruises

My little guy gets a wee bit rough sometimes. Okay... a lot rough. He's a little boy. He's supposed to be. Inevitably, with all of that roughness he winds up with a few bumps, scrapes and bruises. Without fail, regardless of the injury, he asks for one thing to make it all better: a Band-Aid.

Here's the secret with Band-Aids. They don't really fix anything. And they especially don't fix bruises. They do one thing very well, however. They cover up the evidence and before too long the wound has healed.

Unlike our bodies, most of the situations in our life aren't self-healing. From taking out another loan instead of being financially responsible to being arrogant to cover up our insecurities, we all have our Band-Aids. And like the Band-Aid on a bruise, our grown-up Band-Aids don't fix the problem either. They cover it up... and it just gets worse.

What Band-Aids are you using to avoid solving the real problems in your life? Think about it. Figure it out. And remember, removing a Band-Aid is painful so do it as quickly as possible.