They can say whatever they want

So our 6-year-old comes home from school the other day and she says that someone is "not being that nice sometimes."  It happens, right?  Kids call each other kids names.  They say your hair looks funny (which was the case this time).  They say your clothes aren't nice.  They say all kind of mean things.

Here's a little secret for my 6-year-old.  They can say whatever they want about you, but that doesn't make it true.

This advice goes for adults too.  When someone puts you down, tells you that you'll never make it, tells you that your idea is dumb or that your business idea will never work remember this: They can say whatever they want, but that doesn't mean it's true.

Keep your chin up.  Keep believing in yourself and doing the hard work to meet your goals.  And let them say whatever they want.  While they're putting you down, you can bring a smile to the rest of the world.

Why don't you care?

What is it about politics that turns us off?  (I know, I know... stay with me.)

I would say it's the drama, but Snooki is way too popular for that to be true.

I would say it's the feeling that we're being lied to, but we put up with that in our daily lives from friends, family, etc. and continue allowing them into our lives.  We don't typically give up when we get lied to... we get angry.

I would say it's because politics are boring, but we sit and read Facebook statuses all day long that say things like, "Just got a new pair of shoes!"  Seriously?  We're not easily turned off by the mundane.

The only thing that I can think is that we feel like we can't make a difference.

I'm concerned that this feeling of helplessness will bleed over into our family relationships.  We work so hard to teach our kids that they can make a difference when we don't believe that we can.  Before we can fix our country, our kids, our relationships, our faith, etc. we have to be aware of the shortcomings that we have.  Mainly, the self-imposed ones.  The limits that we put on ourselves that no one else does.

Believe that you can make a difference, because, quite frankly, you can.  But only if you believe it.

3 Reasons to Not Care

There are tons of things that we care about... and tons of things that we don't.  It's helpful to know when you should or shouldn't care.  Here are my guidelines:

I don't care if:

1. It doesn't truly affect people.  I don't care a whole lot when the 37th version of a smart phone is released.  Your cell provider may care, but I have more important things to worry about... like my family, friends, job, life, community, etc.
2. It's self-sustaining.  I, thankfully, don't need to change my oil once a week.  So, it's pretty self-sustaining between changes.  Many things in our life are like this (think plumbing, electricity, etc.).  However, we tend to assume that relationships are... they aren't!
3. I can't do anything about it.  There are some things in my life that I would love to change.  Unfortunately, they're all in the past.  If I can't change it, why care?  Again, there are too many wonderful things to care about.

Think about what you care about.  And then care... today!

Dare I say it?

I read a book by the man who ultimately became famous in the U.S. for creating MAXIM magazine (he was famous in Europe long before that).  He's rich.  Actually, he's REALLY rich.  In the book he tells of living in a nearly abandoned apartment with his phone being the only utility that hadn't been shut off.  He was literally breaking his furniture into pieces and burning them for heat while watching his girlfriend leave him for his best friend that had "a real job."

You see, the reason Felix Denis is rich is not because he was luckier than I am.  It is because he was willing to sacrifice more than I am.  He was willing to risk more than I am.  He was willing to be uncomfortable more than I am.  But, for me to admit that he earned his wealth, I also have to admit that I'm not willing to follow his scarcely trodden path.

This post isn't about wealth.  It's about anything worth working for.  When you see someone that has a nice car, a nicer lawn, a devoted wife, respectful children or a stronger faith, it's most likely because they were willing to put in the work to make that happen.

Yes, it's easier to pretend they are just luckier.  But dare I say, the truth is that they probably worked harder.  

The good news for you and me is that there is nothing stopping us from working just as hard!

Why don't I have cancer?

I've seriously asked myself that question on several occasions.  The answer is always the same.

I have absolutely no idea.

We often think that we're entitled to a good life and that anything that disrupts that ideal is "bad luck."  What if we looked at it the other way?  What if each of us is entitled to a bad life and everything that distrupts that ideal is "good luck"?

What if every time your brakes work when you push the pedal, it's good luck?  What if every time your heart beats without you having a heart attack, it's good luck?  What if every day you don't lose your job, it's good luck?  Would that change your perspective?

We're often quick to blame bad luck when something goes wrong, but we're typically not so thankful for the thousands of little things that go right every day.  It's all a matter of perspective.

So, what went right today?

The bad part about anticipation

Waiting for the big game.  Waiting for a loved one to come home.  Waiting for a much-needed phone call.  Anticipation is wonderful.

The only bad part is that it seems to make time take longer.

In that "extra" time, are you more productive or less productive?  Use that extra anticipation energy to get more things done instead of just using it to wait.... longer.

Losing sight of your value

Put your glasses on.  This sometimes takes work.  You have value.  We all do.  What is yours?

Ask yourself this single question:

"What is the thing that only I can do?" 

Waiting is not a plan

So stop waiting for a job.  Stop waiting for the economy to get better.  Stop waiting for your relationship to heal.  Stop waiting for your kids to get better grades.

Change is the result of action.  If you want change you must initiate it.

The question is not, "When will this situation get better?"  The question is, "What can I do to make this situation better?"

What is your art?

Everyone has one.  Maybe you like it.  Maybe you don't.  Maybe you're good at it.  Maybe you're not.

But the fact remains.  You will create some type of art today.  It may be a creative way to make a PB & J or it may be painting the next Mona Lisa.

So, I'll ask again.  What is your art?

I have all of the answers

At least that's what I'm going to pretend.  I'm the adult, right?  I should have all of the answers.

Actually, we shouldn't.  I think our kids are a lot smarter and a lot more creative than we give them credit for.  I think we can learn a lot more by listening to them than we can by telling them what we think.

See, the problem is that we've already been tainted.  We've already bought into the status quo.  We already believe the lie about fitting in.  Our kids, on the other hand, have a fresh perspective on life.  They see things that we don't because the world is still amazing to them.

I think we have a lot to learn from our children.  But first, we have to admit that we don't have all of the answers.